Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Oh my goodness, is it really that simple? During my life I keep dating—and twice marrying—men that I really did not know all that well. I was not patient enough to confirm that our love could stand the tests of life and time; still, I was astonished when those relationships did not bring the fulfillment and happiness for which I hoped. Duh! It is for this reason that I have decided to have a love affair with myself. Continue reading “OMG”
When I was a young girl, everyone always said that I looked like my father. I considered this observation a complement because my dad was handsome, had immaculate character, and was liked by everyone. During the past several years, people have started mentioning how much I look like my mother. Now don’t get me wrong, my mother was a very attractive woman with a beautiful complexion and a Coke bottle shape that could rival any movie start of the mid-century. It is just that I knew that what these observers really meant was that I am looking like my mother did as she aged: the same salt & pepper hair, drooping jowls, and slouching posture of an aged woman that has given her youth to her husband and swapped her pleasing frame for childbearing. I do not think for one minute that they are comparing me to the gorgeous portrait taken when she was a 19-year-old dreamy eyed girl! Continue reading “Mirror, Mirror”
Everyone wants to be somebody—somebody special. I have always wanted to be somebody—somebody that matters. I have always dreamed of teaching; but, how can I teacher others? I am not perfect. Many have told me that I should write; I love to write; but, what do I have to say that anyone would want to read? I am nobody special. Continue reading “To Be or Not to Be”
Back when I was young, I had all sorts of romantic, idealistic goals of a large family. I am sure that you will not be surprised if I tell you that “The Walton’s” was my favorite television show in the 1970’s. I couldn’t wait to fill my house with children so that we could end our day saying, “Goodnight, Sons. Goodnight, Daughters. Goodnight, Sweetheart.” Continue reading “I Should Have Had a V8”
Some people refer to their life as a “journey”. Others may call it an “experience.” Still others think of life as a testing ground for another, future existence. I sometimes refer to life as a “trip,” which, I suppose, would encompass some of each of these ideas. When my children were little, I used to read aloud to them from an assortment of children’s story books. One of my oldest son’s favorite stories was The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper. You know the one—the little engine that kept saying “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,” as he attempts to climb an incredibly steep hill. Eventually, he surmounts the challenging incline and as he glides down the opposite side in triumph says, “I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could.” I myself do not identify with this particular storybook train engine; however, I can identify with Tootle by Gertrude Crampton, a little blue engine that just couldn’t stay on track. He would see a field of flowers and off the tracks he would go to frolic the afternoon away amongst daisies and butterflies. When he reluctantly returned to the station each night, he would have telltale daisies and greenery all stuck in his wheels, and everyone would know that Tootle had “gone off track”—again! My existence, like Tootle’s, has been fairly transparent to all those who are close to me; nonetheless, that has never seemed to stop me from “going off track” to explore the daisy fields of life. My chant would be more like, “I probably shouldn’t, I probably shouldn’t, I probably shouldn’t,” and then, “I knew I shouldn’t have done that; I knew I shouldn’t have done that, I knew I shouldn’t have done that.” Continue reading “The Little Engine That Should”
When your precious ten-year-old child looks at you with those huge, innocent eyes and begs, “Mom, can I please, pretty-please, pretty-please-with-a-cherry-on-top have a puppy,” do not give into his sale’s pitch for one minute . . . one second . . . not even one millisecond! When he declares, “I will feed him,” this translates to “Mom, you will be feeding him.” When he promises, “I will walk him twice a day—before and after school,” what he really means is, “Mom, you will probably not be getting that morning cup of coffee before work or watching the early evening news, because you will be walking my dog twice a day; but, hey . . . what do you expect? I’m only a kid… but, I love you!” Hence, do not—I repeat, do not—buy a dog unless you want a dog. Continue reading “Read My Lips”
All throughout my life, people have been fascinated—or at least amused—by my wide range of experiences, both the good and not so good. A long time ago, a friend suggested that I should either be on Oprah’s show or write a book. She admitted, though, that Oprah would have to book me for an entire week due to the fact that my life was so complicated (I don’t think she meant in a good way). Maybe a book would be a better idea. In college (the second time around) my professor/mentor/friend used to tell me that she could listen to my stories for days on end. “You should write a book,” she urged. While taking a graduate English class online, my professor said that she could always identify my posts without even looking for my name. She, too, suggested that I write a book, in a casual memoir style, and that I should title the book A Fly on the Wall. Giving my stories a title breathed life into my dream. Sometimes we just need to label a thing, in order to make sense of it. Continue reading “A Fly On the Wall”
I am someone who has always like to observe people, and I am constantly amazed at how gracefully some navigate through the stages of living. Others, however, seem to struggle to find the right balance in living. I definitely fall into the latter camp! I have learned a thing or two in my trial and error method of living, but one of my sons is always quick to remind me that if I had taken a different path, perhaps I would not be who I am and where I am today. I’ll go with his assessment.
I certainly do not profess to have all the answers. Instead, I hope to start a conversation with all of you. Let’s share our “fly on the wall” observations, as well as our hard-knocks of life. Please join me on this journey of self-discovery and growth.